these are the broken words

these are the broken words-
they lie without meaning
upon cold clean floors
lifelessly.

they say nothing
for there is nothing left to speak of
nothing but the cold hardness
of plastic
nothing but the grey
that just won’t
leave.

Underwater Butterfly

Heartbreak is another word for failure
tears speak of silent regret
but as the moon dreams in starlit silver
know I won’t give up yet.

But I can’t breathe under water
I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe underwater
No my dear, I can’t breathe.

my wings are silver, silver and blue
oh dear sir, know I love you
but underwater, everything seems
so cold and blue with molded dreams.

we stitched the eclipses in the sky
and with star shimmers I could fly
but unraveling silver string
leaves nothing but tattered wings.

I’m a butterfly underwater
a pretty thing, but doomed to fade,
a butterfly underwater
and I can’t breathe.

amidst the silver and the blue
without love’s final kiss
she died, and her heart too,
amidst the silvery blue.

and you couldn’t save me
though you tried,
I’m sorry, dear sir
but she died.

she was a butterfly under water
and she couldn’t breathe
and she couldn’t sing.
a faded butterfly underwater
left to float, finally free.

and as the waves lap
upon the distant shore
you’ll find the lovelorn butterfly
the wilted lovelorn butterfly
crumpled by the tide
amidst silvery blue she died.

Longing.

and she stared out the window. the trees were green, the sky was creamy grey.
and her face was blank and
her eyes were cold
but she sat and placed her fingertips on the pane
inwardly, she was a river, a torrent of emotions
ripping through her, tearing her heart in two-poisoned
of love and chaos and wishing and smouldering
but her face remained the same, save the coal dark eyes placed in the middle of her pale forehead.
they burned, shone, shimmered.
inwardly she knew something was not right. something was terribly wrong. the fairies
were dying and the rainbows had fractured into tiny bits of greying colour. The seastars had turned black. the moon was red, a deep blood colour that reflected in the dark watery graves of the shipyard.
something had died. somewhere.  something sweet and beautiful was
lost, forever, beyond her fingertips.but who and what, she didn’t know.
all she knew was that she was left with a lump in the bottom of her neck and water in
in her eyes and she didn’t know where it came from
but it was there.
and beneath her breast her heart ached and wouldn’t stop screaming.

I am here

There’s a hidden world
that only exists
when you sit in silence-
and your heart
whispers
fiercely.

there’s a hidden world
that only breathes when
you stand in the rain and
kiss the stars
that shine
far away.

or when the music
burns your cold spirit
and you feel it speak
as if it were
your lips
but yet
you’re rendered
beautifully
silent.

i feel it
in the air
in the rust of industrialized neon lights
in the poetry of shy stars
in the oiled smeared ocean waves
in the aluminum moon.
but in silence
most of all

In silence it screams.

some think
it feels like a dream
almost-
though it’s real
but
most can’t see.

they want plastic
and garbled sounds
and lipstick smears.
but never this
sweet
sad
place.
because here-
the masquerade breaks.
and everything
fades.

~Steffi

In That Quiet Earth

“Kiss me again, but don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer–but yours! How can I?”
Wuthering Heights

In darkened rooms she wasted
silently breathing, always bleeding-

Entwined voices on distant hills
take the stars, make them ours
graced skies in our eyes
the stained boy loved the dead girl.

He lives, she loves
their eyes set together
the final resolve
lost forever.

But it’s too late-
the gravestones lie.
silvery shadows
stole across the sky.

And The dead girl died
and became his star.
a shimmering softness-
on his heart, a scar.

In silence words breathe
Come close to me
say my name, a whisper
In this quiet earth-
amidst crimson lines of ghosts’ despair
we fall
but find
our reason there.

~Steffi

“Help us, we’re drowning.”

Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia?
How will the lights die down, telling us who we are?
I’m searching for Answers
you’re hurting inside…

Within Temptation’s single from their “An Acoustic Night at the Theatre” album dropping October 23rd.

The Day i Awoke

Pain, a chord snapped
pools of liquid gushed away
burning pain-skin cracked
Eyes shot open, twisting.

The day the glasses shattered
light spilled into the spidery lens.
the sights poured in-my world stood tattered.
ash drapes the city-
the skeletal confines of what was lost.

Gaping masks look at me
Pale plastic sculptured faces
Black holes where the eyes should be.
They speak in monotone.

Synchronized hearts beating
in enforced rapid succession
Pulsing blood, now slowly seeping
across my white torn sleeve.

they place the stars in the sky
lightbulbs on a black tarping
liquid dispensers produce rain-
metallic to glistening palms.

Blue melts into burning black
White swirls into grey,
i think we’ve found
Remedy for pain
No one loves
No one dies
No one lives.

Oh My.

{Despite preconceived notions, Steffi discovers that Japanese music is actually rather spiffy}

1. Darkwave Surfer–Aural Vampire

2. Kuroi Torikago–Kanon Wakeshima
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzfNgN4L-pg

3. Muddy Romantic– Bespa Kumamero
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SMpldN7Us

4. Lacrimosa–Kalifina
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRrKwNKdR6Q

5. Current–Schwarz Stein
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGrsg65U9Qc

Sorrow (dies).

Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that’s smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by…

For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars.
Sorrow dies.

Futile Scribbles Mean so Much

Hearts heard some strange call
And we build this pretty place
This pretty place that wouldn’t fall.
No, couldn’t. Our hands ached.

We smiled and laughed
And sang together
Our hearts would glow in our forever.
We built this place. It wouldn’t fade-
A light amidst the city’s decay.

We crafted the glass,
Blue, scintillate beams
Arrayed in shrill silver
Our coveted dreams.
And we filled this place
With our steps and names.
Signed with our hands
Every hope and blame.

Yet spirits fade, as sins grow
Loosening all we came to know
Fingering weeds crept silently
Across our newly painted walls
Across our newly painted walls.
We were blind, and our city falls.
Steadily, decaying, in the words we’re stating
And like cold rain, our city falls.

We were the poisoned eroding stains
The glossed Vices in our perfect pains
To make the glitter seem just so.
Of painted dreams, we can’t let go.

And then two years, and five, and ten.
We’ve left this place to begin again.
But ashes and ashes
Make up the man.
And sinners will fall to where they began.

~Steffi